


Dear Evelyn

by NymeriaSparks (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: ...im truly sorry, :(, Apologies, I cried while writing this, Oneshot, Original work - Freeform, Sad, Sad in general, Song: Evelyn Evelyn, Songfic, Unidentified Characters - Freeform, Unsent letters, just sad, my brain screamed this for three days straight til i wrote this, past and present mistakes, trying to be better, vent - Freeform, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NymeriaSparks
Summary: A parasite needs a host... Yet you were only trying to do what was best for us.Lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXAZQNrLu7gA very good animatic: https://youtu.be/MQ6aazWzs4g?t=10
Comments: 8
Kudos: 2





	Dear Evelyn

Evelyn, **Evelyn** ,  
 _Why is everything suddenly so difficult to do? Even a conversation is a war zone.  
_ **Why do we bother to stay?** Why are you running away?  
 _Is there even any chance of recovery?  
_ Don't you feel like severing? **Everything's** **just come together at last  
** _You don't seem to think so, and it kills me every day.  
_ It's broken, I don't want to play  
_Don't give up on us, please.  
  
_ We grew up closer than most  
 _You were there when nobody else was  
_ **Closer than anything,** closer than anything  
 _I loved that time. Nothing could separate us. Nothing could break our bond.  
_ Shared our bed and wore the same clothes  
 _You were like me in more ways than anyone else I saw  
_ Talked about everything, **spoke about so many things  
** _You taught me everything I know.  
  
_ _ ** Everything I know.  
  
**_What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today?  
 _Nothing seemed to matter as much with you.  
_ **Can we go ice skating?** But we just did that yesterday  
 _When people laughed and left me out you were there and made me so happy that I didn't care.  
_ Should we be firemen? **Can we be astronauts?  
** _You never limited me. You were realistic, but you didn't bend your words to make me feel better. I hated that for a while.  
_ **What if they find us?** They're not looking anyway.  
 _You protected me from the vultures diving towards me for years.  
  
_ Fill my glass, **let's drink a toast  
** _Celebrations in that summer month always seem muted  
_ This is our birthday, **so why are we weeping?  
** _And while you made it better, I wonder what could have been all those times I cried over him, over your yearly remembrance.  
_ **At your side, I feel like a ghost**

_You only want to help, but sometimes your presence erases mine._  
I wake up first, and I stare at you sleeping  
 _But yet if you left, half the time I wouldn't stand up.  
  
_ **What shall we wear tonight?** What shall we eat today?  
 _I strove for independence everywhere I went, in any way I could.  
_ Do you think I should marry him? **But we just met him yesterday  
** _You warned me so many times, but I craved another presence in my life, so I clung on to others too tightly.  
_ Should we be movie stars? **Will we be millionaires?  
** _You gave me every possible way out, but I pretended not to hear.  
_ **I want to be famous!** They're watching us anyway.  
 _I didn't know how to handle my small-town fame, everyone staring and judging my too-poor, too-tall, too-wild self.  
  
_ _**So you bore the brunt of my mistakes.  
  
**_ We grew up so very close  
_Looking at you now, your face seems so twisted. Are you really the one I knew? You latch onto me so tightly that I can't breathe.  
_ A parasite needs a host  
_I launch those words back at you with all the anger from everything I've done.  
  
_ I'm only trying to do what is best for us!  
 _And I knew it, only I didn't know what I'd do if I had to face the reality that the blame is on me not you.  
  
_ **Well, I never asked for this, I never wanted this-  
** _But sometimes you're just insufferable!  
_ **All that I want is some time to myself.  
** _You grab hold of my arm, my head, my life, and smother everything you haven't hand-picked for me!  
  
_ Looking in your eyes, I'm coming home...  
 _I wish you'd say that, wish I could admit I feel the same, wish I could tell you I just want to come back home to how it used to be  
_ **Just get away from me, please. just. stop. touching me!  
** _You know I'm haphephobic- you know I hate when you touch me. Or yell or make everything my fault when in a very few times it's you.  
_ You're always trying to be somebody else!  
 _You think those "outside people", those "distractions", those "nobodies", my FRIENDS have taught me to hate you.  
  
_ _ ** That isn't true.  
  
**_ **Now I realize I'm not alone  
** _Reflecting now I see I was never alone. But yet, in another way, I was. You never have tried to understand some aspects of me.  
_ Well, you're only scared of me  
 _I know I've faulted you falsely for some parts of my past but I've admitted and apologized to you fully for it. I truly feel that this is real, and you refuse to even discuss it, so what does that tell me?  
_ **But you never cared for me.  
** _Why didn't you care? Do you know how badly it hurt to finally realize the best friend of my childhood is gone?  
_ **Why don't you let me free?  
** _If you mean it when you say you don't care, then act like it. Don't choose to keep me here and try to force me into your mold.  
_ 'Cause you'd never dare to be!  
_Perhaps not, but I operated under the belief that you’d always be there, overshadowing. But yet doing it out of care for me.  
  
_ 'Cause you never listen  
 _I know I didn't in the past and all I can say is I'm sorry and I'm trying to keep my mind open to what you say.  
_ You're always insisting  
_Can’t we just discuss this civilly?  
_ **I'm just reminiscing-** Just STOP reminiscing!  
 _What's wrong with remembering? Why can't my past be part of my future?_

I feel something missing...  
_...I miss you. And I'm sorry._

  
I just want you here with me. **I just want my privacy!  
** _I wish we could just go back to the beginning when everything seemed fine and we still loved each other!  
_ **God, can't we just get along?!** God, won't you leave me alone?!  
_Is it too late to apologize and try again and recognize I was wrong?_

_**I wish you'd believe me, but I'm truly sorry.**_

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to the one person whom I both love and hate eternally. I realize now that many times, you've only tried to help me, even if you didn't know how.


End file.
